Is it gremlins? How does my computer screen slide off the computer screen? I know I’m not the only one. I get this question from most of my computer students. It doesn’t usually slide all the way off the screen… just enough to lose the buttons that let you do stuff with the screen. Just recently, it called for a
house call. So I figured this deserves its own lesson.

First off, let’s address the screen-screen ambiguity. We need to acknowledge that the computer screen is a physical, tangible thing. It’s not a projector screen, but it might as well be. I could tape two pieces of notebook paper side-by-side on my desktop screen. I could lay one piece of paper on its side on my laptop screen. My phone screen can’t even hold an index card.

Of course, we’re not looking at a piece of paper on our computer screen. We’re looking at lights arranged into pictures, which fit neatly into frames. Adjustable frames, even. Self-adjusting frames, even! When they’re behaving, they miraculously fit their picture into whatever screen we happen to be using. When they aren’t behaving, well, then things fall off the screen.

Next, we need to salute Microsoft for their invention of windows. Not Windows the software program, but windows, the amazing adjustable, stackable, duplicatable frames that allow us to multitask plum out of control.

How many windows do you have to close when you want to shut down your computer? Are they all over the place, stepping on each other so you don’t overlook them? Is one of them just barely peeking into view, with its business end hiding off the screen?

And by business end, I mean that top right corner that contains that magic square button that tells the wayward window to FIT THE BLASTED SCREEN FOR GOODNESS SAKE!

I’m sorry for that outburst. I am passing on the cumulative frustration I hear from my help seekers. Where is that kitten to soothe our nerves?

Oh yes. It’s there in the blank bar at the top of the window. We can grab the window by the scruff of its neck and drag it wherever mama says. Click that top bar and take that window for a ride. You can even do a figure-eight on the way. When the business end of the window shows up, drop that kitten.

Honestly, we can also knock-knock on the top bar (double-click), and the window will fill the screen. But Microsoft really was mimicking real life when they invented windows. When you need to see two at the same time, knock-knock again and move it like a kitten. If you need a custom-fit, hover the mouse over the window edges and the re-sizer arrow will wake up. Have fun designing your projector screen de jour.